Monday, April 19, 2010

The final countdown

This is the face of a boy who just lost for the last time. Therefore disqualifying him to continue onto the final round. This year they ran the race a little differently and you only had 1 chance to qualify. One loss, your out.
I was happy with the fact that it took less than 45 minutes to run an entire race for 20 or so cub scouts.
I was a little disappointed with them only getting to race one 1-2 times unless you won. But they left the track up for a long time afterward so all the boys could do their own races. That was the fun part. Watching them grab their cars at the end of the track and running like mad to do it again before the slots filled up. I am glad he has learned to be a good sport through it all. Taking his loss for what it is and for cheering on the ones who did win.
I am not one of those parents that thinks everyone who participates is a winner.
That, by the shear fact of showing up to something negates all the hard work others put into playing and actually winning. If you win every time, you have nothing to work towards.
Why try hard, or harder, if you get the award at the end just the same.
Losing is hard. It is hard watching your kid that you would stand in front of an on coming car for, be hurt by something you can't protect them from.
I tried that.
My son, like I've said is a thinker. He likes to know the ins and outs, the hows and whys of things.
A moving ball coming right at your face, no matter how big or small, does not compute with his rationalizing brain. Plus, your arms and feet have to move in sinc and that is just not happening with him.
His strengths will sometimes be less obvious and a little irritating ( like when he is at the dentist and she can hardly clean his teeth for all the questions he is continually asking). But he will know the answers that no one else does. And has the desire to eat up words and knowledge like he is starving.


I was a little too over-protective and stood in the way of him learning through his shortcomings.
Like when he was a kid, I signed him up for baseball and soccer.
It wasn't a pretty picture.
He was his own worst enemy.
That and the fact that by the age of 6 these kids were pros.
So, I stood in the way.
I tried to protect my child from embarrassment and hurt feelings.
While I taught him that I would always be there to protect him, I was also teaching him that he wasn't "good" enough to play sports, or that he shouldn't even try. To which I am paying dearly, as the kid won't even go outside when all the neighborhood kids play baseball. ( He will however till his sister so she can go play.)
Not at all my intention.
So, even though he really really wanted to win his last pinewood derby, by stepping back and allowing his failure, I also allowed him to know what it was like to want to win.

And hopefully that small lesson will help him in this race of life we are all in.



2 comments:

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

I think you're a good mom for teaching your son the value of true competition. Life shows us that we can't all win all the time. Thanks for the visit today!

修強 said...

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